How simply breathing rapidly through my mouth for an hour helped me to have a profound somatic (physical) and emotional release.
The first Session
Holotropic Breath-work had piqued my interest for a few years now. I had been hearing quite astonishing stories, from people I knew well, about their experiences with this breath: tales of seeing dead relatives, visions, emotional releases and self realisations. The infrequent sessions available in Liverpool had always clashed with my own classes. However, during August this year I could finally make it to a session as I had three weeks off. The session was with a wonderful breath work teacher, Claire Cockburn at Awake Yoga Studio in Liverpool.
...tales of seeing dead relatives, visions, emotional releases and self realisations.
We began with an hour of a Kundalini Yoga with several variants of Breath of Fire (Kapalabhati). Kapalabhati is a favourite of mine so I was delighted; it is an invigorating breath with a forceful exhalation through the nose with a dynamic pumping action at the abdomen. Kapalabhati is a Sanskrit word and translates as ‘shining skull’.
We then moved into the Holotropic Breathing technique; although, in this instance it was called Shamanic Breathing, done to the rhythm and beat of some quite tribal music - inhaling and exhaling through the mouth with emphasis on the inhalation. Everything in me is now conditioned not to do that; I have been taping my mouth shut at night for two years now (I will be writing another blog on nose breathing). It was such a challenge. I had so much resistance to the whole process. I had also just started my period and had already been having quite severe cramps (I had a hot water bottle with me too). However, as soon as I began to breathe through my open mouth, rapidly, the cramps greatly intensified. I have some understanding of how the breath can affect the nervous system and I started to analyse what was happening to me on a physiological level; I knew that my sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) was being stimulated due to the rapid mouth/upper chest breathing with the focus on the inhalation. Inflammation can be aggravated when the sympathetic nervous system is activated. I was literally witnessing this happening within my own body. My mouth was so dry too, I wasn’t enjoying anything about it, yet I persevered.
I knew that my sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) was being stimulated due to the rapid mouth/upper chest breathing with the focus on the inhalation.
Each time I breathed with more vigour the pain became more acute. At one point I felt like I was in labour and giving birth to… who knows what. I was lying down and doubled over. While I instinctively wanted to breath faster, I reluctantly slowed my breath down and eventually entered a kind of trance-like state, I had a few hypnogogic visions (in between sleep and wakefulness), one of a native Indian headdress, I was definitely somewhere else for a while.
I was incredibly relieved when we were brought back to reality. Everyone began to share their experiences; some were incredibly moving, and some people had profound emotional and energetic releases. I hadn’t felt anything like that; my own journey had been quite unique, in that of experiencing intense pain. However, something else began to happen. On hearing everyone’s stories I was moved to tears during the shares. I spoke to one lady afterwards who had lost her son; she said she had stayed in bed for 7 years following his death.
On hearing everyone’s stories I was moved to tears during the shares. I spoke to one lady afterwards who had lost her son, she had said she stayed in bed for 7 years following his death.
We both talked about our losses, our depressions and our healing. Her son had taken his own life. I completely broke down when she told me this; it touched some raw emotion deep within me that I believe the breath work had uncovered. We spoke with compassion and openness and I told her about my mum and nan who had both killed themselves due to the loss of my sister to cancer. It was the death of my sister that finally drove the two generations of matriarchs in my family to take their own lives, and the death of the son of this lovely lady I had just met almost killed her too. A mother losing her own child is so hard to overcome, let alone to suicide.
A mother losing her own child is so hard to overcome, let alone to suicide.
I actually sobbed in her arms. That is very unusual for me to do with a loved one, let alone a stranger. We then rejoiced and congratulated each other on how far we had both come; she too was in a good place, due to the inner work and breath work she had been doing for some time with Claire.
Even though I had struggled during the practice itself, I was subsequently so moved by the whole experience. The breath had definitely dislodged something deep within me and I knew then that I would be back for more.
The Second Session
Two days later, bright and early on the first day of the Soul Circus Yoga Festival in the Cotswolds, my yogi friends and I sauntered into the festival grounds. We all agreed to try the breath tent with Let’s Breathe. The wonderful Charlie Moult was our guide; no mention was made of Holotropic or Shamanic Breath-work, yet as soon as we began I knew it was the same technique. The only noticeable difference was that we sat upright this time.
No such resistance came up this time, my period pain had dissipated and I was able to accept the breathing in and out through the mouth. Since doing my first Vipassana meditation 12 years ago, when I meditate I often get twitches, jerks, swaying motions and movement. About 10 minutes into the practice I was experiencing this phenomenon. It is not uncommon, and every meditation teacher I have had I have asked about it. They all say that it is the body relieving itself of stresses and traumas. I believe this can be described as a ‘somatic release’.
...when I meditate I often get twitches, jerks, swaying motions and movement
The jerking, rocking and twitching became stronger and stronger, at one point I felt like I was going to take off. My bum was bouncing up and down on the block I was sitting on, and then, all of a sudden, from nowhere, I was overcome with emotion. Within a relatively silent tent (I don’t recall there being music during this session) with possibly about 80 -100 people in it, I burst very dramatically and loudly into tears. I fell forwards and sobbed… and sobbed… and sobbed… I was quite self-conscious at first, yet once I had given myself permission to surrender to it, I let everything go. I allowed the waves of emotion to wash over me. There was not a particular sentiment or feeling attached to the emotion. However, in retrospect it did feel somewhat connected to my mum. Charlie came over to me at one point and simply rested her hands on me to let me know she was there and that I was safe.
I burst very dramatically and loudly into tears. I fell forwards and sobbed… and sobbed… and sobbed…
I breathed fast, I breathed slow, I cried, I made primal noises (I am pretty sure others were, too, by this point). It went on and on. I was sat up once more and the jerking and movement rocketed out of control. The movement was so violent that my friend Andrew, who had peeped an eye at me to see what the hell was going on, said I was moving so dramatically that it looked like I was body popping. Eventually, after about 20 minutes of allowing this to take me to wherever I was going, it began to ease off, I smiled, laughed and entered into a serene state of peacefulness. Coming out of the experience, my immediate thought was ‘I am going to learn how to teach this’.
The weekend at the Soul Circus was fabulous albeit very emotional for me. By the Sunday afternoon I was exhausted when we found ourselves in the breathing tent once more. A very similar breath was delivered, by a different guide. I was so tired I didn’t have the energy to engage so I listened, listened to all of the reactions of the participants, the wailing, crying, shouting, primal noises. It was interesting to hear it from the other side. Many were engaged in some sort of release.
“Why the fuck has it taken me until the age of 56 to begin doing this work?”
Afterwards one lady, having had a wonderful release, said to the group “Why the fuck has it taken me until the age of 56 to begin doing this work?” We all start somewhere and it’s never too late (or too early) to begin the inward journey.
What is Holotropic Breath-work?
The word holotropic is from the Greek holo, meaning ‘whole’, and tropic, seeming from the word ‘trepein’ which means ‘moving towards’. So, the expression can be interpreted as ‘moving towards wholeness’.
The technique was developed by Stanislav Grof, MD, and his wife Christina Grof. Grof was a psychiatrist who experimented with psycho active substances during the 1960s, including LSD, in order to help his patients uncover deep seated emotions and trauma from the subconscious mind. When these substances were made illegal he looked for another approach.
“The key experiential approach I now use to induce non-ordinary states of consciousness and gain access to the unconscious and superconscious psyche is Holotropic Breathwork, which I have developed jointly with Christina over the last fifteen years. This seemingly simple process, combining breathing, evocative music and other forms of sound, body work, and artistic expression, has an extraordinary potential for opening the way for exploring the entire spectrum of the inner world.”
Stanislav Grof, The Holotropic Mind:
The Three Levels of Human Consciousness and How They Shape Our Lives
Rapidly breathing through an open mouth, with emphasis on the inhalation, brings us into the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight).
The technique can bring us into an ‘altered state of consciousness’, which can facilitate a deep healing by helping us to access past traumas and bring them into the light. Sometimes we don’t always know what that trauma is, so this is a breath that can guide us to the issues and emotions which we are holding onto, and which can dramatically affect our daily lives.
By simply breathing rapidly through our mouths we are able to uncover deep seated emotions and trauma. All of the answers are within, and this technique helps us to reveal our internal truth.
Please note: This type of breath work should only be practiced with a qualified practitioner
For more information see also:
Film: The Way of the Psychonaut Trailer: https://www.thewayofthepsychonaut.com/watch
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